Burned By The Sun........

Whatever Happened to Bill Watterson?
As you may or may not know, Bill Watterson was the genius behind the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, which he abruptly pulled the plug on in late 1995. This great article talks about the rise and fall of the comic strip, and tries to track down Watterson, who is now a recluse of sorts in a small town in Ohio. Required reading for fans of the strip.

The Real Stooges Bridge Story
I've been reading the excellent Please Kill Me, and I have stumbled upon a passage regarding the bridge in Ann Arbor that the Stooges fucked up with their van. Turns out it's called the Washington Street Bridge. Drummer Scott Asheton was doing around 35 miles an hour and the bridge peeled back the top of the truck. He later remarked, "Nobody told me it was a twelve-foot-six truck and a ten-foot-six bridge... You can look at the bridge even now, and you can tell. That bridge is still fucked-up." Asheton and one of the roadies he was with were picked up from the hospital by guitarist (and Scott's brother) Ron Asheton, and demanded to be taken back to the bridge. Turns out, they had been driving while on reds, and when the cops came, they threw the bags out the window, so they wanted to go back to get them. To which Ron responded, "You motherfucking idiots!"

All three of the guys in the van had to be hospitalized, plus the band was going to be sued by the owners of the truck, the owners of the rented instruments in the van, and the city of Ann Arbor, for destroying the bridge.

That's one shitty day.

You can see a picture of the bridge, as well as some other Stooges and MC5 landmarks here.

My New Favorite Time Waster
It's a virtual drum kit. Now if only they'd make a virtual version of Neil Peart's drum kit. Then we'd really have some fun.

Some Stuff From the Guardian
Here's a 2003 Top 20 list.

And here's a good article about the Kings of Leon.

And this is a week old, but whatever. It's a chat transcript with Thom Yorke.

zeroPEAN
Hi Thom, Please shut up and sing. No one wants to hear some stupid rich rock star complain about the evils of capitalism.

ThomYorke
Please don't come to our shows. Please don't buy our records

ShaunC
Hello Thom. Life as a the singer of a top British pop combo can´t be too bad, eh? So why all the misery-mongering? How about a couple of chirpier ditties to make us smile?

ThomYorke
fuck off

Morrissey In the Studio
Expect a new Morrissey record, the first since 1997, around May or so. This page has a bunch of live mp3s of the new material. Be sure to pick up "I Like You", as it is the best of the bunch.

Most Disturbing Piece of Rock Memorabilia of All Time?
If you've got 312, 500 British Pounds, you can buy the album John Lennon signed for his assassin just five hours before the murder. The dealers through which the album is being sold claim it is 'the most important piece of rock memorabilia ever'. Most important? Doubtful. Most disturbing? Probably.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Apparently, Bob Dylan played some amazingly kickass shows in London this past week, playing "Jokerman" for the first time in many years, and "Romance In Durango" for the first time since May 1976.

Yes, there are mp3s. You know the drill, right click and "save target as":

Jokerman
Romance In Durango
Dear Landlord

When are we going to get smart and develop a local nudist colony?
Yes, that's right...it's time for another installment of When Rednecks Attack! (For those who don't know, the following are called "hot lines" and they are from a redneck paper that serves communities near Flint, MI. Hot lines are anonymously submitted grievances or props, and the paper prints them.) Let the fun begin!

Pick of the Week!:
When are we going to get smart and develop a local nudist colony? I have been a dedicated nudist for 25 years now (my neighbors have discovered this), and I would like a place where I could go to practice this extremely relaxing art legally. Wouldn't it be great if all of us nudists could unite and be free together right here in Fenton or Linden? Let's put this idea on the drawing boards shall we? I shouldn't have to be arrested for releasing my natural self in public. If Eve wouldn't have screwed up, I wouldn't be in this predicament. (via e-mail)

I can just see it now: Fenton, MI: World's Coldest Nudist Colony
Or, more likely: Fenton, MI: World's Ugliest Nudist Colony

---

Apparently, there have been some of the same old animal mutilations:

A dead doe left on the corner, a baby fawn dead, with its head cut off and stuck in a paper box, Lord pity this person or persons who have so much hate in their heart to do this. Obviously they never had a pet. Their upbringing must have been horrendous. (via e-mail)

A deer head in a mail box? And it's supposed to be some sort of retaliation? Man, you have problems. Seek therapy before you really go over the edge! (via e-mail)

---

To the owners of the dogs who were enjoying happy hour on my front lawn yesterday, you need to control their fantasies before one of them gets their heart broken. But if they must throw all of their inhibitions out the window then I at least want one of the puppies for letting them use my property.

Why didn't they just say, "To the owners of the dogs fucking on my lawn yesterday, you need to keep your dogs off other peoples' lawns. But, since the dogs are purebreeds, I'll take a puppy, cause the damn kids are bugging me for a dog and I spent all my wages on alcohol again."

---

My snowboard is getting cabin fever!

Boo-fucking-hoo. Wanker.

---

If the library is truly burning books then that is ridiculous. They can call me at 750-1894 and I will gladly pick them up regularly and find homes for them.

The library does not burn books. Whoever said that is wrong. The library has limited shelf space. The city needs to purchase or build a bigger building to accommodate the growth, come up with another plan. As it is, many worn out books and books that have not been used in several years, are withdrawn and sent on. (via e-mail)

Ok, here's the scoop. I worked at a library. People really hate to throw books away, so libraries get A TON of donations. And the donations are NEVER anything good. They're usually old college textbooks or they're worn out and unreadable or completely worthless books, like old travel guides. They do not burn them. They simply throw them in the dumpster. I mean, c'mon, you're gonna carry all those fucking heavy books out...check to make sure the space is clear and start a fucking bonfire that could spread and burn the damn building down? People are stupid, I swear.

---

Well, this is nice. I've just read through the Hot lines online for the first time since moving out of state, from Linden four months ago, and I see nothing's changed. Thanks Tri-County, for publishing the Hot lines. It just reaffirms that I made the right decision in getting the heck out of there.

Damn straight. I feel exactly the same way.

LA'S Best New Year's Show
The Polyphonic Spree and Grandaddy are playing the elegant (or so I've heard) Wiltern Theatre. I would probably go to this, if I wasn't going to be in Milford, Michigan. Yes, such a place actually exists. Shoot me now.

Squirrel Rant, Part 2
You may recall the cartoon I posted a link to a few days ago...the one with the ranting, pissed off squirrel. Well, part two is out now. It's not as hilarious as the first, but it has its moments.

A Holiday Pilgrimage
The world of music news is kinda slow today, so go listen to the 11/18 installment of Sound Opinions. There's an interview with the Fiery Furnaces and a segment on Fun House.

During that segment, they mention a bridge in Ann Arbor that's really low, so low that if you drive a large van under it, you'll fuck up the roof. Apparently the Stooges could not comprehend that fact, and ruined their van a number of times on account of the bridge. So supposedly, some punks later put up a plaque on the bridge pointing out that this is the bridge that kept ruining the Stooges' van.

Therefore, my friend Crazy J and I shall set out on a pilgrimage when I get back to Detroit this December. This will be our second holiday pilgrimage, after going to Hell last year (though Hell was fun, and we made a friend).

I assure you, Crazy J is super psyched.

Um, we don't really know where this bridge is. We know of one bridge we may check, you know, the one with all the grafitti that you pass under just before you go into town, but I doubt that's it. If you know where the bridge in question is, please email me. If worst comes to worst, we'll question all the record store clerks in town. We WILL find the bridge! And I'll post pictures upon my return to LA.


In other news:
I want to look like this when I'm old!

Art Car and the Hippie Fair

So, I went to this hippie fair in Griffith Park to see the Tyde. If you're unfamiliar with them, they play sunny, California, laid back rock. It's good music to listen to on a nice day, or on the way to the beach.

At the hippie fair, I saw the coolest art car ever. See for yourself:











In case you didn't notice...all the designs are made out of computer keyboard, uh, keys. Here's more detail of the Homer portrait:

There are a couple other pictures here.

Anyway, the Tyde were good. And so was the band that went on after them. After doing some internet research, I found out that the guy who joined the band after a few songs is Waylon Jennings' son, Shooter. Predictably, they played country music, but it was the good kind of country music, the kind about being lonely and drinking too much, the kind of music that would sound good when played in your car as you drive down a deserted highway at night.

More mp3s
I added some links under the mp3s of a Detroit band called The Singles, a band that does early 60s guitar-driven pop better than the Beatles (well, some of the time. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to say a band is better than the Beatles ALL of the time? "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "I Saw Her Standing There" are only two of the greatest songs EVER). If you only download one of the mp3s, be sure to get "Until You Came Along". That song was on my top 10 list for last year. I might put it on this year's list, since the album didn't officially come out until August of this year. And yes, if you like the mp3s you'll like the album.

As Promised...Live Wilco mp3s
Over on the right of the screen, under the heading "mp3s" you will find some delightful live songs, I think they are from shows in the past year. I know "The Late Greats" is from the Comerica Michigan Tastefest in July (I was there...good show). "Heavy Goth Drummer" (gotta love Tweedy's Ian Curtis impersonation) and "Be Not So Fearful" are the only songs that are (fairly) certain not to end up on the new album. The others could be on there. These aren't all the songs I have, but I think they are the best ones. If you've heard about one that's not up here, you can email me and if I have it I'll put it up. Or if you've got a new song you want to share with everyone I can post it. Also, if there are any technical difficulties, let me know.

I'll also use the mp3 heading to link to other mp3s I find cool. When I find some.

Quite Possibly the Greatest Thing Of All Time
If you like bitter rants, you will love this.

New Wilco For Late Spring?
Wilco is currently in New York working on the follow-up to 2002's brilliant Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. The band is working with Jim O'Rourke and Chris Shaw, the guy behind the boards for Bob Dylan's Love and Theft. Billboard reports that the album is tentatively titled W*lco Happens, and new tracks include "We Are Finished Waiting For You Now" and "Hell is Chrome". What they do not report is that the band probably just made that shit up.

Wilco has been playing a ton of new songs live (which have significanly less stupid titles like, "At Least That's What You Said", "The Late Greats", "Theologians", "Muzzle of Bees", etc.), most of which sound pretty damn good. I have mp3s for about 16 or so new songs, so what the hell, I'll post some of them later today or tomorrow. If you've got any specific requests you can email me and I'll try to accomodate them.

Jack White on Cold Mountain Soundtrack
The five tracks he did for the soundtrack are:

"Wayfaring Stranger" (a traditional)
"Sittin' On Top of the World" (Howlin' Wolf cover)
"Great High Mountain" (originally popularized by Ralph Stanley)
"Never Far Away" (an original)
"Christmas Time Will Soon Be Over" (another original)

Full Soundtrack listing here.

As I Was Saying...
Okay, I managed to find the Ronnie Spector story I mentioned earlier today. It's not what I remembered it being...it's much more disturbing. It wasn't a story either, but merely a quote attributed to her ex-husband:

When she tried to leave him, he warned: "I'll have her killed the minute she steps outside the gates. I've already got her coffin. It's solid gold with a glass top so I can keep an eye on her after she's dead."

Jokes of the Day

Due to a mix-up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.

Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."

Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."

Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."

At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."


Q: What's tragic about 4 ravers driving off a cliff in a Honda Civic?
A: The car seats five.


More here.

Ok, I'm really going to start my homework after this. Really.

Radiohead fan reportedly doing time for posing as a Palestinian suicide bomber on fan message board.

Lastnite.org has an Atlanta radio session up, which includes the Julian / Regina Spektor duet. It's going by the name "When Dogs Get Embarrassed". Upon first listen, I am not really sold (then again, I usually hate everything the first time I hear it). I just don't think the vocals mesh very well. However, I LOVE the guitar intro / outro.

Quick News (I have homework due in three hours or so)

Michael Jackson is now in custody.

Phil Spector has officially been charged with murder. Again, big surprise. There was a creepy anecdote relayed by Ronnie (his former wife and leader of the Ronnettes) back when the murder happened. I'll see if I can find it for you guys later.

Looks like Van Halen is set to reunite with an old singer. Nope, sorry, not David Lee Roth. Sammy Hagar. Those guys really should just give it a rest. The last album with the guy from Extreme was a disaster, and contains the whiniest (nine minute!) song OF ALL TIME.

Just One More Thing For Today. Really.
There were 5 inch flames spewing from the half of the bagel that got stuck. Did I scream? No. Did I freak out and try to put it out? No. What did I do? I started laughing hysterically and couldn't stop. I don't know why the blazing bagel struck me as the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life but all I could do is stand there laughing my ass off as other co-workers started yelling "OH MY GOD!!! PUT IT OUT!!!"
More here.

It Really Is the 1990's All Over Again
Some people keep saying the 80s are making a comeback, but if that's the case, shouldn't Michael Jackson have a hit, instead of a warrant out for his arrest? Yeah, a warrant. For multiple counts of child molestation. Is anyone surprised? The DA says a criminal complaint has been filed, but no civil suit, which suggests that the plaintiffs may not be out for cash. At least not yet.

This is so 10 years ago.

A pity the Stone Temple Pilots won't be able to cash in, since they broke up and all. I wonder what'll be worse, Axl and the Stand Ins, or Scott Weiland fronting the rest of Guns N Roses? Actually, I don't wonder. I don't even care.

This is the STUPIDEST Thing I've Heard Anyone Say This Year!!

As you've probably heard, the Source found some old (from 1988) tapes of Eminem making derogatory remarks towards black women. I know he and this Benzino guy have one of those idiotic rap feuds going on...but that doesn't excuse the BLATANT IDIOCY of this quote:

"Don't make this right now a double standard," Benzino said at the press conference. "We gotta treat this the same way you treat Mike Tyson, like you treat Kobe Bryant, like you treat R. Kelly, like you treat O.J. Simpson."

WHAT THE FUCK is this guy TALKING ABOUT?? Mike Tyson was accused of RAPING A WOMAN. Kobe Bryant is accused of RAPING A WOMAN. R. Kelly is accused of HAVING SEX WITH CHILDREN. And O.J. Simpson was accused of MURDERING TWO PEOPLE.

I know that he's saying we shouldn't give Eminem special treatment for being white, but that still makes NO FUCKING SENSE!! Did Eminem rape this woman he insults on this tape? Did he fucking KILL HER afterward? No? Then he doesn't deserve to be treated like a rapist or murderer!

That's my main complaint with this thing but I disagree with something else, though not quite as angrily. The article also talks about:

Benzino's accusations that the media operate on a double standard when it comes to the multiplatinum white MC and that an artist of color could never get away with saying some of the things Em says in his music (see "Benzino Ignites Beef By Calling Eminem '2003 Vanilla Ice'").

A few years back people were saying that Eminem's music is offensive to women. Well, I'm a woman, and frankly, I'm not that offended. Is his music really much worse than all those lame women-bashing jokes on the internet (which don't bug us women as much as some guys would like to think)?

Oh, wait, Eminem did offend me once. When he called Fred Durst and that other guy from Limp Bizkit 'girls' in that one bonus track. I'm sure girls everywhere were pissed about that. We don't want to be associated with those losers.

But I digress. Anyway, I'm pretty tough to offend, but there was one song that bothered me a little. It was by Dr. Dre, and it's called "Let's Get High". I mean, we're not talking super offended here, but I have to admit the way they characterized and regarded women in that song kinda bugged me. If "artists of color" get away with less than Eminem, why wasn't Dr. Dre's album protested against? Why wasn't the National Orgainzation of Women on his ass? His album is way more offensive to women than any of Eminem's. If anything, I think Eminem gets away with less in the lyrical department based on his popularity and the color of his skin. Although, I think it has more to do with his popularity (which, let's face it, is largely due to the color of his skin). Parents of small children can be offended ridiculously easily.

I know it's so typical to think that people who accuse celebrities are only after publicity or money, but I think the last paragraph of the story says it all:

After their comments, Benzino and Mays refused to entertain questions about the tape and its origins. They did say they plan to include a CD of the Eminem recordings in February's issue, and they promised another press conference concerning Eminem will be held in the future, when they'll answer questions and have civic leaders and members of the hip-hop community on hand.

Since the inclusion of the songs in the February issue will only send magazine sales skyrocketing through the roof, and many people have never heard of Benzino until this story, there is no reason to think that these two guys are motivated by anything but pure concern for the hip hop community.

New Liars Album "Available"
More info as it becomes available, but check Soulseek.

Let The Speculation Begin!
As usual, Radiohead are "strongly rumoured" to play next year's Coachella festival. It's a little early though, speculation usually begins in January. Sadly, this is like chumming the waters for sharks, and the coachella.com message board is closed. I was hoping 2004's lineup would suck 'cause there's no way I can afford to go, even though I live only 2 hours from Indio. Does anyone know where I could sell blood plasma or kidneys?

This Is Just Wrong
Kurt Cobain's 'Journals' was reissued in paperback this week, containing previously unseen material and some new lyrics.

I didn't have a blog the first time around, so here's my opinion now: Releasing Kurt Cobain's journals is a really fucked up thing to do.

I love Nirvana. The song "Smells Like Teen Spirit" inspired me to pick up a guitar, and that band was the first rock band that actually mattered to me. So I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious about what was in the journals, but I don't think that justifies reading them. Lots of people say, "It's a fascinating look into the mind of a troubled genius," as if it serves some educational value or something. Bullshit. Those were Kurt's private thoughts that he never intended anyone to see. It's like someone posting xeroxed copies of your diary all over school, except a million times worse. And the guilty parties here are making millions of dollars. I bet you'd be pissed if someone did that to you.

THE GOOD:

The Network to Play Live In LA
..at the Key Club this Saturday. The Network is purportedly Green Day with some members of Devo. Could be a good show...at least Green Day are good live.

Butler to Produce New Libertines Record
Just because Suede broke up doesn't mean that Bernard Butler has nothing to do. Depending on Carl's recovery, studio work could begin in December.

New Von Bondies Record
Pawn Shoppe Heart now has an official release date, February 9.

MST3K Fans Speak Out
MST3K is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. My whole family would watch it on Saturday mornings and laugh our asses off at the witty remarks made by Mike (or Joel) and the Bots while heckling hilariously bad movies. Remarks like these:

Crow:Does just walking through it make you want to kill yourself? Then it's a HIGH SCHOOL!

[A chase scene ensues on lethargic go-karts]
Crow: Put your helmet on; we'll be reaching speeds of 3!

Crow: This makes "Driving Miss Daisy" look like "Bullitt".

Mike Nelson: When confronted by a werewolf, this is important, immediately leave your car and run out in the open.

With the Sci-Fi Channel stupidly discontinuing reruns of the show in January 2004, righteously angry fans of the brilliant show speak:

Thank God for my VHS copies of old MST3K shows, as well as my burgeoning DVD collection. I fully intend to email the powers that be at Comedy Central and ask for more MST3K. My reasons will include the following points:
1. Was 'Crank Yankers' ever funny?
2. 'South Park' is old news.
3. How many 'SNL' shows can one person watch? One or two funny skits out of an hourlong show is nothing to brag about. I’ve been a fan of MST3K since 1993. How many other shows on Comedy Central's roster have fans that have been there for a decade?

Somebody should start an internet campagin to bring the show back. If not new episodes, at least some reruns.

THE BAD:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Creed, apparently fed up with the reports of a rock comeback, are making plans to ensure it stays dead with several new releases next year, plus solo albums from the singer and guitarist. Both of them. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Red Hot Chili Peppers Weren't Good Enough, But Britney Is
Talentless hack Britney Spears now has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. And they wouldn't let the Red Hot Chili Peppers, actual musicians and an LA band, have one. Random Trivia: Did you know that some people have two stars? I can't remember who they were though...but I know I saw two repeats. Also, Jack White has a star. Okay, it's not the Jack White we all know and love, it's someone else, but still, he's a HELL of a lot more deserving than Britney. And the movie he's in might not even suck.

Rock Writer Busted For Plagiarism
And you thought they came up with those ridiculous metaphors themselves. Well, maybe some of them do, but not this guy at the Denver Post.

THE UGLY:

More Michael Jackson Scariness
Police have searched the Neverland Ranch, as part of an "ongoing criminal investigation". The search was based on allegations of sexual abuse brought by a 12-year-old boy. If you want to find out more, follow the link. I do not even want to hear the rest.

Have You Done Something Stupid? You Can Make $100
I found this in my inbox, courtesy of my school. Typos are not mine.


LIVING STUPID: DUMB THINGS SMART PEOPLE DO

Do You Have Funny Story?

Have you done something that was dumb but really
funny?  We all have.  And now Stephanie Marston,
Co-author of Chicken Soup for the Empowered
Woman’s Soul is seeking stories for Living Stupid:
Dumb Things Smart People Do.  Now you have an
opportunity to contribute to this new series by sharing
your humorous, true-life experiences.

What makes a good Living Stupid story?

A Living Stupid story is a humorous, true story, that
tickles your funny bone or makes you laugh out loud.
It’s a story about something you’ve done that later
makes you smack your head and laugh at yourself. (It
can even be a funny story about someone else.)

Chapter headings will include dumb things people
have done At Work, Around the House, At Play, In Love,
Outdoors, On Vacation, In Friendship, With Children,
With Your Parents, With Your Pets, By Yourself, During
Sex.  Anecdotes should be fun-loving--the more
outrageous the better, but keep it clean and “printable.”

If you have a humorous life experience and would like
to be included in Living Stupid:  Dumb Things Smart
People Do, send your story to Living Stupid, P.O. Box
31453, Santa Fe, New Mexico 87594-1453.  Please
keep a copy of your story, as submissions cannot be
returned.  Or email stories to samarstonATearthlink.net.
(We prefer emails!)  The maximum word count is 1200
words.  For each story selected for the book a
permission fee of $100 will be paid for the rights.
There are no limits on the number of submissions.
Stories must be received no later than March 15, 2004.

PS:  You can write your story anonymously is that’s
more comfortable!!

Who Bootlegs!
This site has a ton of Who live shows on mp3. I like the 1964 London show (back when they were still known as The High Numbers). The other shows aren't all that necessary as long as you own Live At Leeds. You DO own Live At Leeds, don't you?

If you don't have time for a whole live show, I'd recommend this one track from the London gig, "Dance To Keep From Crying", a cover of the classic by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. Also, I enjoyed the cover of "Barbara Ann" with Keith Moon on vocals. Everybody's about to crack up. I think it's cool when musicians laugh in the studio, because you can tell they're having fun.

Bootleg link via Largehearted Boy

Conspiracy of the Week
This site contends that Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself. Nor was he murdered. He's still alive, performing as none other than Weezer's Rivers Cuomo.

It's not by any means believable, but it is entertaining. Plus, it has some interesting mp3s of Weezer covering some Bleach-era stuff. Cuomo does a pretty good Cobain imitation on "Blew", but "Aneurysm" is much less convincing.

Burning Brides News
I was wondering what the hell these guys have been up to. Frontman Dimitri Coats tells Undercover:

"Next we are about to release the record that will hopefully put us on the map and define what we are really about" he says. "We have finished recording our new album which is going to be called 'Leave No Ashes'. It will come out worldwide in mid April. We spent a couple of months in Los Angeles with George Drakoulias (Black Crowes) and it is really something".

He also mentioned that he looks at Fall of the Plastic Empire (a very cool album) as being the band's Bleach or Gish. So is this new one supposed to be their Nevermind? Sounds like this is an album worth looking forward to.

Further Proof That Everybody Likes The Darkness
Even Tony Blair is a fan.

And The New Strokes Single Is...
Reptilia. At least in England, that's the new single. Sometimes it's different. Didn't the White Stripes release two different singles, "The Hardest Button to Button" in the US and "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself" in the UK? I'd think that "The End Has No End" has the best shot of being a hit in the US. That song is like The Darkness: Everybody likes it.

Rilo Kiley Acoustic Gig
I don't know if this is stating the obvious, but I just found out today. Apparently, the Troubadour is having "An acoustic evening with Rilo Kiley" on January 10. Tickets go on sale Wednesday 11/19. I'll probably go if the damn buses are running by then.

Best Bet For New Years?
Now this sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than that lame-ass party I mentioned a few days ago. Sadly, I'm poor and I will be in Detroit, drinking away my sorrows that I'm missing the Strokes in Las Vegas.

Sex Symbol In An Eye Patch? Buccaneers Indeed
Even though kids on the fan message board have been talking about this for a couple weeks, the NME finally reports that Carl Libertine had a "booze fuelled accident" that's led to two operations.

Booze fuelled? Do those guys ever have any other types of accidents?

I kid, I kid. Anyway, how do they know it was the booze? Yeah, he might have taken a bottle of whiskey to his bath, but he slipped when getting out of the tub. It's very easy to slip when getting out of a tub or shower. Hell, if I had a dollar for every time I've nearly killed myself in that fashion I could afford to fly out to London to catch The Libertines' Christmas gigs and then to Vegas to catch The Strokes for New Years.

Oh, the title of this post was from a message Pete Libertine posted on the Babyshambles board. I thought it was funny.

These Guys Don't Waste Any Time, Do They?
The Coral's follow-up to July's Magic and Medicine should be out on January 26 in the UK. Hey, wait a minute...the US doesn't even have Magic and Medicine yet!

Kindercore Records Calls It A Day
Kindercore, home of artists like Dressy Bessy and Of Montreal, has closed the doors of its New York office, and the label's bands will have to find a new home. All 2004 releases will be shelved. More here.

Is This Really News?
The Sun felt it was necessary to tell everyone that Liam Gallagher buys bread. Okay, people, if Liam isn't having a hilarious fight with his brother or decking some reporter, WE DON'T CARE!

Hey, Music Geeks
There's a website that has reviews...of record stores. They list record stores worldwide, but here's the LA page, since this is technically an LA site and all. Some of the reviews are entertaining in and of themselves:

One reviewer on Amoeba: "This is the place I hope my spirit haunts forever after I'm dead...definitely my concept of "heaven."

Another reviewer: " I live a couple of blocks from Aron's, which has almost single handedly kept me in debt for the 3 years I've lived here."

Joey Ramone Gets a Place By CBGB's
In a ceremony on November 30th, the corner of Second Street and the Bowery in NYC (right outside CBGB's) will offically be named "Joey Ramone Place". More here.

Libertines Update
Pete Libertine is back to playing secret gigs again...this time in his own flat. He had to play two sets, because 40 people showed up. He even gave presents to some fans. Isn't that nice?

Strokes Bootleg!
The good people at lastnite.org have posted a 2001 Stockholm gig. It's a good one, too.

Tackiest. House. Ever.
Sure, there are plenty of tacky houses. Especially in LA. But I think this one takes the cake. Not only are there around 20 smaller versions of Michaelangelo's David on the front lawn, as well as busts of Venus deMilo (?) on the roof, but the homeowner has been sued various times by angry neighbors who say his house devalues their property.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the stunning grace of 304 S. Muirfield Rd.


Here you see the front door. I'm sorry this picture (and the others) are all blurry, but my camera is still relatively new and I'm not sure how to get this night photography stuff to work.


Here we zoom out a little. Note the intricate iron work and the statue bust just above those, uh, iron things.


Now you begin to see just how many of those damn statues there are. And you can see the additonal junk on the roof. If you drive by this place in the daytime (it's a block east of Rimpau and 3rd), you will be blinded by the whiteness of everything, so beware.


The whole house was too damn long to fit onto my camera in one shot. But this picture, taken from across the street, gives you an idea of what those poor people have to see when they look out the window.

My friend got some film footage of this place, so if you would like to view a movie that shows the house in all its majesty, click here.

I can't wait until this insane homeowner decorates for Christmas. I will do my damndest to get some pictures for you guys. But until then, here's a preview.

As Promised...
Here is the rant about shitty college guitarists. I posted it on my other site because it's a little too long for a blog.

My rant is all about THAT GUY:

He’s the guy who practices eight hours a day and never improves. In fact, he only seems to get worse. This guy would be disemboweled if he set foot in a guitar store, because he won’t stop playing “Stairway to Heaven” and “What’s My Age Again?” and various Green Day songs. And of course, he leaves his door wide open, so everyone in the fucking hallway can listen to him butcher the latest Linkin Park song.

And the cruel reality that guy so desperately needs to face:

Guys, I am going to let you in on a little secret. Guitars are not pussy magnets. Yeah, I know 50 years of rock and roll seem to suggest otherwise . . . It is not the guitar. A guitar is just a few pieces of wood, plastic and metal slapped together. It’s the TALENT and PASSION with which the instrument is played that makes all the difference.

You can watch the new Hot Hot Heat video, "Talk to Me, Dance With Me" here. The opening shots remind me of the video for Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way." I assure you, however, that Hot Hot Heat are much better than Lenny Kravitz.

Props to Roger Ebert
Ebert reviews Gus Van Sant's Elephant (he gave it four stars). He also shares the following:

Let me tell you a story. The day after Columbine, I was interviewed for the Tom Brokaw news program. The reporter had been assigned a theory and was seeking sound bites to support it. "Wouldn't you say," she asked, "that killings like this are influenced by violent movies?" No, I said, I wouldn't say that. "But what about 'Basketball Diaries'?" she asked. "Doesn't that have a scene of a boy walking into a school with a machine gun?" The obscure 1995 Leonardo Di Caprio movie did indeed have a brief fantasy scene of that nature, I said, but the movie failed at the box office (it grossed only $2.5 million), and it's unlikely the Columbine killers saw it.

The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. "Events like this," I said, "if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song; these two kids were packaged as the Trench Coat Mafia. The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous. The TV will talk about nothing else but me. Experts will try to figure out what I was thinking. The kids and teachers at school will see they shouldn't have messed with me. I'll go out in a blaze of glory."

In short, I said, events like Columbine are influenced far less by violent movies than by CNN, the NBC Nightly News and all the other news media, who glorify the killers in the guise of "explaining" them. I commended the policy at the Sun-Times, where our editor said the paper would no longer feature school killings on Page 1. The reporter thanked me and turned off the camera. Of course the interview was never used. They found plenty of talking heads to condemn violent movies, and everybody was happy.

You can read the rest of the review here.

In Other News
Archaeologists discover that the Incan "lost city" of Macchu Picchu is part a of a larger complex.

When Rednecks Attack!
...with the pen (or keyboard) that is. A medium that makes them look that much more inept.

To the young lady who gave me the finger on North Road Friday. Does that mean I'm still number one or was you showing me your IQ. (via e-mail)

She was probably reminding you of your IQ. Or maybe she just doesn't like people who talk like the Beverly Hillbillies.

I remember from my college journalism classes at how being objective was important to good reporting. Your associate editor Cheryl Dennison must have missed class the day that was being taught. She is the biggest brown-noser on your staff! Report some more lies about NOCFA for the Holly Village cronies! (via e-mail)
(Editor's note: Ms. Dennison got a big chuckle out of your Hot line. But just for the record, she has never written anything about NOCFA.)

I like how the editor added that punchline. I also love how the writer thought they were being clever by mentioning that they have a college education (in journalism, no less!) and using that as an anecdote and introduction to their pointless complaint. Unfortunately, this person must have missed class on the day that they discussed accuracy. Which, my teachers tell me, is very important for good reporting.

Also, the last part about the Holly Village cronies is great. I love how these people get so fanatical about local politics. In hick towns. These people act as though the fate of the free world swings in the balance of the Holly Village, or Milford Township, or whatever, board meetings. Like a 2% tax hike in the Village will usher in the reign of the antichrist.

I suppose I should mention the source of these strange little redneck diatribes. They're from a section of the Tri-County Times, a hicktown paper in southeast Michigan that serves communities near Flint (of Roger & Me fame. Reading this paper will make you understand why Michael Moore no longer lives in Flint, or Michigan). The paper has this section called Hot lines. It's where people write in and bitch about whatever they want anonymously, and the newspaper prints them. If you're really bored, it's fun to write prank hotlines, which can easily be done via email.

My favorite series my friend and I did was when she wrote a hotline that began "To my husband's mistress..." and basically said that "I know what's going on, don't be surprised if i visit you on one of your "meetings"...blahblah." We thought it was amusing. But then someone actually responded to it!

Inquiring minds would like to know--did the woman that put in the Hot line a few weeks back about the cheating husband catch the S.O.B. and his mistress yet?

Well, of course we had to give the inquiring mind an answer! So I wrote the following:

To the inquiring mind, I brought a whole dinner party to the restaurant. My lawyer, P.I., parents, and mother-in-law were all present to see him kissing that hussy. My lawyer presented the papers just after his tearful mother left. The trial is next month. I would have responded sooner, but I've been in Barbados, relaxing after this ordeal. I brought back a souvenir to help during this difficult time. His name is Carlos.

If you'd like to raise some hell in a few Michigan hicktowns, submit a salacious hot line here. Perhaps I'll mention it in a future installment of When Rednecks Attack.

One of the Classic eBay Listings
Man sells ex-wife's Beanie Babies. Offers the following disclaimer:

I know nothing about these stuffed Beanie Babies. I offer no proof of anything. It is a stuffed animal, get over it! I don't think my ex-wife was in the Black Market Beanie Trade..but then again, I didn't know she was having an affair either!


Further Evidence of the 90s Comeback
Radio Beat: It sounds like '90s music could be the next big format on Seattle dials
By BILL VIRGIN
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER

Some months back "Radio Beat," noting the progression from oldies to classic rock to the '80s format, wondered aloud when a radio format of nostalgia for '90s music would arrive.

The remark was made largely in jest. Maybe it shouldn't have been.

Because what's sometimes referred to as "classic alternative" does exist as a format, and the rumors are flying that it might be the format of choice the next time an FM music station in Seattle makes a switch.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Dreams Are Like Rainbows. Only Idiots Chase Them
Yes, Despair, Inc. released the second half of their new line of Demotivators today.

LA to Host Another Boring Party
...for New Year's. Apparently there's going to be some 48-hour marathon party at the Bonaventure Hotel. It's gonna cost $60-75 dollars to listen to a bunch of DJs. Great deal.

Oh Joy! More Conglomeration!
Sony Music and BMG to merge. How many record companies are we left with now? Three?

HOLY CRAP!

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club are planning a little tour next year, with a few special guests. Who? you ask. Oh nobody much, just THE STROKES, THE LIBERTINES, and THE RAPTURE!!! On one bill! This is gonna kick so much ass, even if getting tickets is gonna be a bitch.

Not As Good As Spinal Tap, But Still Entertaining, In A Train Wreck Kind of Way

Rock and Roll Confidential, the site responsible for the gallery of Daily Douchebags (the world's worst band promo photos), has gone one step further, and is now following former Douchebags with video cameras. They plan to add further installments, but one can't help but wonder if the episodes are gonna start to look the same after awhile.

Anyway, what's with this band? I think they're joking around, because they cannot seriously think that they're gonna play arenas one day. One can't help but laugh at the part where they talk about how great they are. The parts where they talk about how Australian radio stations are playing their record "pretty occaisonally" and Elektra having an interest are amusing as well. Here are a couple of choice quotes:

"You're not supposed to see bands just sitting there and whining, and...wearing shirts."

"A lot of people come up to us and ask us for CDs. Y'know, like every show I give away about ten CDs. People say we suck, we're not good. But yet they want a CD. Now, I don't think they want them as coasters."

That second quote made me laugh because it reminded me of a critic's darlings band that was poorly received live (not just because they were opening, but because they were TERRIBLE!), and how kids were so pissed that they were buying the band's CDs from the merch booth for the sole purpose of breaking them. I can't help but think that this band's CDs are meeting a similar fate. And the people didn't even have to pay for them.

World's Shortest Hunger Strike

Tenacious D embarked on a 45-day hunger strike yesterday, saying they would starve themselves while hanging above Times Square for 45 days, or until their new DVD sold 1 million copies.

"Kyle is going to bring a guitar, and if we need extra nourishment, we will live off the power of each other's rock," said Jack Black.

The strike lasted one hour.

The Hell of Dorm Living...In a Single Sentence

My cousin's away message:

Nothing like laying down on your bed to review for the chem test you have tonight at 7...and then hearing damn Zeppelin wannabe fag screaming like an idiot down the hall.

There's always one in every hallway. Expect a rant about shitty college musicians in the next few days...I have quite a bit to say on the subject.

Creem Back By Spring?
According to this article, the legedary rock magazine Creem, now only a web publication, could be back on store shelves next spring. But then again, I remember seeing an article in my senior year of high school (2001) that said the same thing. So we'll see.

Can You Think Of Anyone Better To Play Hendrix? I Sure As Hell Can't

Andre 3000, of OutKast fame, told the BBC about a few upcoming film projects:

"We actually have an OutKast movie that we start to shoot in January directed by the video director Brian Barbara, it's going to be a musical. I'm also working with the Hughes Brothers to play Jimi Hendrix in 'The Jimi Hendrix Story'. And there's a sequel to the movie 'Get Shorty', I'm playing a role that will be called 'Be Cool'."

StrongBad Rips on Halloween Costumes
Some amusing comments made on HomestarRunner Halloween costumes here.

Sound Opinions Turkey Shoot
Chicago's Sound Opinions, the world's only rock and roll talk show, is now accepting nominations for its annual Turkey Shoot, a good-spirited lambasting of the year's most overrated records.